L0nely girls
9:24 a.m. - 2004-05-23
We are working hard to get our chores done so that we can go see THAT movie. Yah, part 2 of Shrek. Woo! I'd rather see Tr0y, but it's rated R for Rich people who can afford babysitters.
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
I've decided that instead of throwing a shirt away, I will try and sew a button on it. The shirt sat in a "to be tossed" pile for quite a few days before I decided to check for extra buttons sewn inside of it. Sure enough, it had one. I'm always on my toes.
Yesterday, we had supper at La M@deline. It's the first time I ever took A. She had chicken cesar salad and tomato basil soup. Then we went to T@rget and bought breakfast stuff because on Tues. morning, I'm going to put on my apron and flip pancakes for my kids. I love doing that, and I've missed doing it this year.
Friday at happy hour, this teacher told me, "You have been so quiet this year. You just haven't been yourself." It's true. I'm usually so happy and I sing a lot. It's sad that I let two people ruin my year like that. To me, they are like an infection. They rot everything they come into contact with. I'm just so glad that I'm going to get away. I don't care if I'm going to teach in Hell itself. I just don't want them to be there.
I've been really lonely lately. Then people at happy hour were trying to convince me that I needed a relationship. Then I'm like, "HELL FREAKING NO!" Because relationships aren't good for me, you see. I always end up getting the shaft, and I don't mean that in a good way.
So even though I am happy with my life, I am still feeling lonely. I don't think it's because I need love. I really feel that I am missing something else. I feel like I don't have a good friend (I mean nearby...ya'll are good friends, of course). I need that friend that will tell me if I look too fat in my skirt. I need that friend that says, "Let's go out to eat tonight so we don't have to cook and clean." I want a person who understands me and knows when I need to be stopped in my tracks, grabbed by the shoulders and given a big hug. Is that love?
I have to go do chores now.