barrel of fun
10:22 p.m. - 2003-08-22
So I know I have some work to do in my diary. I probably have some work to do on my self-esteem as well.
I finally got to see Joy tonight. We met for happy hour. She was with a bunch of people from her school. I wish I could have stayed out. I remember the days when I could have stayed out. I haven't missed that in a while. I took my friend Misty with me tonight. At one point she said to me, "Where do ya'll go on the weekend?" I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Where do you go out...like, what clubs?" "Oh," I say, "I don't go out." It seemed sad and weird to say that at happy hour. I guess I'm the only one that realizes I haven't had a happy hour in so long, and that was probably my last one for a while.
So this single mom's group that I get e-mails from is going camping in Oklahoma, and I'm considering going. I have always wanted to take Alyssa camping, but never felt safe enough. I guess this is my perfect opportunity. I just don't want it to turn into a "my baby's daddy is worse than yours" kind of thing, though. Yeah.
Oh man, Joy's new apartment is like MTV Cribs for real. I wouldn't even know where to start.
I feel extremely fat and unattractive these days. I did do one thing different. I stopped taking the pill. That could be upsetting my balance...my self-esteem? I figure why take it? I have no reason to take it. Plus, it may be the reason I'm so fat.
I'm so glad I got to see Joy tonight.