Ms. Jackson if you're nasty
8:45 p.m. - 2003-08-23
Today, we had manicures and pedicures. Then I had the car washed. I have spent the entire evening watching I Love the 70s on VH1. Damn! I forgot how much I loved Queen. I just now learned, from Marilyn Manson of all people, that Queen was a gay reference. Did everyone else but me know that? Oh, memory lane. I still have my pet rock!!! I had a leash for my pet rock. I had a Stretch Armstrong, but he got a cut. Who could forget the clackers/kabangers? I had an orange set and a blue set. I didn't know what Dixie meant about Michael Ian Black until today. And how creepy was Captain Kangaroo? Haha Here's all the guys I humped my pillow to: Ponch from CHIPS, both of the cops on Adam 12, Batman and Robin. I also fantasized that The Rifle Man fell in love with me, and immediately forgot his dead wife. O.J. Simpson was in Roots?? I remember how exciting the bicentinnal was. I think that was the year we had a watermelon spitting contest in the backyard. Next thing you know, we're growing watermelons by the shed!
Oh man, the conversation at happy hour was crazy. First, I was talking about how I used to read my dad's Penthouse magazines. Next thing I know, I'm talking about the nasty things I used to do with my Barbies (one of my Barbies was a big whore), and everyone else at the table used to do variations of the same thing. Then we started talking about the nasty things we used to play with other girls. One girl used to be Willie Nelson with a bandana around her head. I used to be the landlord coming around collecting rent. Joy was the doctor. We were nasty girls! Still are. Rock on.