Psycho friends
2:58 p.m. - 2003-02-23
So, I was watching this infomercial about KB Homes. Now, I�m all depressed. They kept referring to rent as �throwing away money� and a house as �an investment�. As long as I�m a teacher, I will never be in a financial position to own a house. Okay, it�s not because I�m a teacher. It�s because my credit is screwed all to fucking hell. I�m never gonna dance again. These guilty feet have got no rhythm.
I cleaned my daughter�s room. Okay, I scooped up piles of junk and put it in bags and put the bags on the bed. Her room was too risky to walk in. We had to do something drastic. Now, I will slowly go through the bags and throw away anything I can. It will have to be while she�s not here. She still wants to cling to Happy Meal toys she got in 1999. Now, where does she get that from?? Cough
When I was a little girl, I had a nightmare that I came home from school (I walked) and midget carnies had moved into our garage. My mom was so wrapped up in the whole thing that she didn�t love me or want me anymore. I still remember how painful that dream was for me.
I wore a band-aid on my boobie last week. I was squeezing this pimple and the whole thing got way out of control. Breast tissue is very sensitive. It looked like I was growing a third nipple. Blemishes on my breasts always make me think of that part in Gulliver's Travels where he comes home all tiny and his wife's boobs make him sick because he can see every last pore and blackhead and it's all gross to him. It was a Barbie band-aid on my boobie.
Now, we all have things going on in our lives. This I accept. However, at what point do you decide, �Hey. I know you have a lot going on in your life. I know this because I listen to you. However, I have a lot going on in my life too. You don�t know this because you don�t listen to me. I understand that your own life is very distracting right now, but�� I won�t go on because I know you get my drift. What I�m talking about here is a friend of mine who got engaged, got pregnant, fled her fiance� and her job. She also found out that her baby is going to be handicapped. Now, on my part I have listened, attended a wedding shower, I gave a wedding gift (a $30 gift card to Target which I told her to use on the baby when she broke off the engagement), I gave several baby gifts, I�ve offered my home if necessary (guess it wasn�t). In return, I get e-mails that are sent to every single person she knows. When she breezes into town, I get a call the day of announcing I can meet her for lunch if I would like�along with everyone else in town that she knows. Every time we talk, she acts like it�s news that my daughter attends school where I teach. I can�t remember if I told her about my cancer. To top it all off, I receive in the mail an invitation to her baby shower two days before it is to occur in another state. Does this mean I am expected to send yet another gift? Did I mention that her thank-yous for gifts are e-mails? I�ve about had it with this one-sided friendship. Should I be more understanding since she�s going through all this stuff? What about the things I�m going through? Who�s worrying with me�well all of Diaryland, I suppose! Anyhow, you get my point. Am I wrong??