Night at the Roxbury (a.k.a. Tom Thumb)
10:16 p.m. - 2002-12-26
Two weird things happened to me at the grocery store tonight. First of all, I picked out my grocery cart. As I was putting my purse in the little basket, I saw a man's wallet in the cart. Absolutely no one, not even my daughter saw me find that wallet. I start to push the cart to customer service. As I stood in the line, I flipped open the wallet. It only had $20.00. I explain to my daughter that I found a wallet, and that I am turning it in so that hopefully the owner will be reunited with it. It seemed that she wasn't paying attention, but I know she was soaking it all in. Well, the lady who worked in customer service was very appreciative. She was like surprised I would be turning it in...thanking me over and over again. She paged the guy, but I knew he was already gone. Still, I found myself slowly going through the store. Every once in a while I'd glance toward the front and look for a man in full-out panic running to the customer service booth. Then I'd imagine the relieved look on his face. Alas, I never got to see it. Apparently, the dumb fuck isn't as aware of his personal belongings as I am. (Except for when I leave my purse in Joy's classroom!) The other weird thing is that this guy came in who was like super fine. I think he worked there and he was picking up his check or something. Well, that's just my story. I always make up stories about people. Anyway, he was fine...like fine-ass fine. I thought I was mistaken when he glanced my way. Here I am, end of the day single-mom who's hit the mall AND her mom's house...yeah, I'm lookin' frazzled. So, he might have thrown me a look. Whatever, I'm with my kid and I'm busy. I go out to the parking lot, get my daughter in the car, return the cart to a conveniently nearby cart holder and get back in the car. He is starting up his car. It might have been a coincidence; but as I drove by, there was a honk. I didn't look. Was it him? I pull up to the red light down the street, and he pulls up beside me. Oh, he is young and hot. He has his music up really loud, his window down and a very shiny watch on his wrist. God, I just know he smelled really, really good.I know he's looking at me, so I don't look. I turn back, and tell my daughter that I love her. As I turn my head back to the front, he and I catch eyes, and he smiles. It was a hot, sexy smile. Wow! Either I still have it, or he saw the loser magnet in my forehead. Yeah, keep drivin' you hot, young thing because I already know the end of our little trist. Trust me, it's not pretty. But let me tell you one thing, you made an old lady happy tonight.