Diary of L
10:56 p.m. - 2002-11-27
I want to talk about 0rgasms. 0rgasms are fascinating to me. One reason is that I didn�t have my first 0rgasm until I was 30. It happened quite by accident during sex with my then ex-husband and baby�s daddy (he is oh so much sexier when he is someone else�s problem�go figure). It was an amazing feeling. I said to him, �Did you feel that?� Of course he didn�t. Well, I�ve always enjoyed sex; but after that experience, I realized the feelings that go beyond lust. Before I guess I was only feeling lust. I didn�t understand that there was an actual climax to those feelings. Since I wasn�t with him, I couldn�t have them on a regular basis. However, I began having wet dreams! Then I learned how to give myself an 0rgasm! There is only one problem. I can only have an 0rgasm while thinking about him (my ex-husband). Trust me that when I say �him�, I might as well say the devil himself. When I think about him, I think, �Yeah, I�ve been to the School of Hard Knocks. I graduated, and then I went back for a master�s degree. I also did some doctorate work.� You get me, right? Yeah. So, my fantasies are him�devil�and not so good things�imagine what the devil might do�climax every time.
Another reason 0rgasms are fascinating to me is because I wonder if there are other women out there like me. Why did it take me 15 years to climax (I lost my virginity at 15)? Is it because I�ve had incredibly bad lovers? Was it a fluke? Did it have something to do with childbirth? I have never had the guts to ask my doctor.