Let Us Give Thanks n' Shit
11:00 p.m. - 2002-11-28
Ways to have a great Thanksgiving:
Drink 2 Bloody Marys.
Mix in with crowd and avoid any possible eye contact with mother (the two times we made eye contact she told me to get her some water and to cut the pies...it's not even my house, but I am the slave girl in her eyes).
Show brother how to use the Shizzolator...yeah!
Announce for the 5th year in a row, "Can we draw names for Christmas because I'm broke!" (and no one wants to but me, so I look like a cheapskate).
Share sketchy moments that occur when teaching Human Growth and Development.
Let others chastise your mother for her poor etiquette (see, I'm not the only one who thinks you're disgusting when you eat!).
Hold back on sarcastic comments that you want to say like, "Boy, my mom shoulda just had a hysterectomy after she gave birth to that prodigal son of hers, hunh?"
Ignore mother in car when passing a landmark or street for the five thousandth time and she says, "What street are we about to turn on?" or "Is that a school?" or "Where are we now?". If she repeats question, act stunned and confused.
Tell daughter not to eat from her plate until the prayer is said. Then she breaks out into The Pledge of Allegiance and The Texas Pledge.
Two Thousand 'n '02-11-28, 11:00 p.m. Ways to has a bomb diggity Thanksgiving: Drink 2 Bloody Marys n' shit. Mix in wit crowd 'n avoid any possible eye contact wit mother (da two times we made eye contact brizzle told me to get her some H-2-Izzle 'n to cut da pies n' shit. ..that shiznit's not even my hizzouse, but I am da slave brizzle in her eyes), know what I'm sayin'? Show brother how to use da Shizzolator n' shit. ..yeah! Announce fo' da 5th year in a row, "Can we draw names fo' Christmas because I'm broke!" ('n no one wants to but me, so I peep like a cheapskate) n' shit. Share sketchy moments that occur when teaching Human Growth 'n Development n' shit. Let others chastise yo' mother fo' her poor etiquette (see, I'm not da only one who thinks yo' ass're disgusting when yo' ass eat!). Hold back on sarcastic comments that yo' ass want to be like like, "Boy, my mom shoulda just had a hysterectomy after brizzle gave birth to that prodigal son of hers, hunh?" Ignore mother in hooptie when passing a landmark or street fo' da five thousandth time 'n brizzle says, "What street be we 'bout to turn on?" or "Is that a school?" or "Where be we now?" n' shit. If brizzle repeats question, act stunned 'n confused. Tell daughter not to eat from her plate until da prayer is be like, know what I'm sayin'? Then brizzle breaks out into Da Pledge of Allegiance 'n Da Texas Pledge n' shit.