checking in with a report
8:24 a.m. - 2006-12-09
Wow, so everything seemed to be going so much better. I even cancelled with a couple of real estate agents who were going to show me homes. Then my mom went nuts on Thursday night. So last night (Friday), my sis-in-law sat us down to see if we could work this out. My mom showed her true colors. Now my sis-in-law doesn't even want me to live here.
I was going to try and stay and save money to buy a house, but now I feel like I need to hurry up and get an apartment.
My mom is toxic.
There are good things about A. being here in a house. They include being able to ride a bike, play with friends and having stability.
I just feel like the bad things are overshadowing the good things. A. gets very upset when my mom and I argue. My mom drives A. crazy (just constantly worrying over her and checking on her). Also, my mom interferes with the directives and things that I tell A. (and often jumps in to answer A. when she asks me something).
Honestly, with the way things are now...I just might as well have stayed in an abusive and controlling marriage. Now I see why I ended up in those two times anyway.
I think that my mom stays home and watches all of these talk shows and then she wants her life to be like that. She really believes that she is a feeble old woman who is being emotionally abused by her daughter (me). She even admitted to my sis-in-law last night that she doesn't love me and that I am a sucky mom.
The thing is that I know I am a good mom and a good person. I also know that I can never and will never make my mom happy. I wish I could because I really love her, and I don't want her to feel bad. I think that my moving out is the only option here.
I wish I could stay and save more money, but peace and happiness are more important to me.
A lot of my prayers have been answered lately in very obvious ways. I will write about it later on this weekend.