Where is G0d?
4:12 p.m. - 2004-06-14
This was a really strange weekend. I suppose I will pick one thing and tell you about it. It's kind of detailed. I have written in here before I think about a little boy here in the apartments who is often confined to his room. My daughter has often told me that he is living in filth. I have reported it to CPS, the management here and to the police. However, I never actually went over there and saw it for myself...until Saturday night. I can't really tell you how bad it was. There was so much trash that you couldn't see the floor. There was food smeared all over the walls. There were soda cans, toilet paper, take out containers (still with food), noodles...you name it, it was there. He had no sheets and pillows for his bed. The only thing he had was a bed, actually. The most amazing thing to me was all his schoolwork and his books were just there like the rest of the trash. So I got trash bags, and the little boy handed me trash through his window...for about 2 hours. We filled 4 green garbage bags (the big size). I gave him an empty one for his laundry. I told him I'd wash his clothes. I gave him another empty bag for more trash because we were far from being done. The neighbors even started helping me take the trash to the dumpster (one of cute neighbor boy's roommates even). I had to fight back vomit more than once. I told him that one day when he becomes famous, he could write a book about this (what the fuck could I say?). I had to stop because I was tired. I went inside and took a bath. Then I called CPS again. Then another neighbor came to the door to further discuss the situation. He left me at the window after a little bit because he said he wanted to just cry. I didn't cry because I think I'm in shock. Yesterday, I got a manicure and a pedicure and I kept thinking, "Have I done all I can for this boy? Should I be spending this money on me?" CPS told me they would also turn it over to Adult Pr0tective Services (the mother is in a wheelchair). She said they act faster. They came out yesterday. Today when I called management again, they actually said to me, "Laurie, some people just live like that." Live like what? Like animals? Wait...I don't know any animals who live like that. Finally today, I cried just a little bit on the way home from work. I'm always fussing at that little boy to scrub his neck. Jesus...now I see why he's dirty all the time. Sometimes I wonder where G0d is. I always tell my students that anything in their life could be a test. If this is my test, I hope I pass. If this is that little boy's test, I just want to know why.