rainy days and Mondays always get me down
9:44 a.m. - 2004-04-06

After watching yet another reality show that pisses me off on NBC, I am officially DONE. I know I said it before, but this time I'm through. I rearrange my life for these shows only to get mad at the ending. I hate Adam now.

Spoiler: When I went to the gay bar on my birthday, I met a guy who knows Br@dley on Pl@ying it Straight. Br@dley is gay. But I'm not watching that show anymore either.

And yes, the other day I actually made an entry stating that I was willing to sleep with a married man. Well if you have seen the movie Ident!ty, then you know that it was one of my other personalities writing that. Because, "WHORES DON'T GET A SECOND CHANCE!" Anyway, it's all just fantasy. When I actually touch bodies with someone, I worry about disease and how I look and what they are thinking. I think the big 0 is so difficult for me because I'm terrified of what I might look like during it...haha!! Being married didn't help the disease paranoia for me because both of my husbands rampantly cheated on me. My first husband constantly gave me infections. I was too naive to figure out what was going on. Even the hang up calls didn't clue me in.

I guess I don't have anything positive to write about today.

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I am: 37 years old and still ticking

loves: my family and friends

hates: crowds, people who break into your apartment and steal your life

feeling:
peace and happiness