hodgepodge
9:08 a.m. - 2003-12-12
It is not as fun to get dressed anymore. It's like I have this normal body, and then a cartoon-like belly. So the goal is not to look cute. The goal is to not have my belly showing. It's not fun.
I keep thinking about Amarillo guy and how I want to just write him an ugly e-mail. He hasn't called or written since we went out. Even though that is the way he usually is, it makes me feel that he's doing it because I gained so much weight.
Okay last night, I dreamed that I was a black guy. I had a huge you-know-what. I couldn't keep my hands off of it! I just kept rubbing it (I was wearing jogging pants),and trying to make it bigger. I couldn't wait to be alone so I could feel what it would be like to jack off. What the hell was that about?
One of my kids came up and told me I was talking like a negro. She said it so innocently that I know she didn't have a clue how offensive that could be. I guess in Spanish it's not so offensive, so she just directly translated the word. I had to do a little private conference on that one. I know she had no idea, so I just told her that it could be very offensive to people.
The weekends just fly by too fast. I just need everything to slow down. I feel like it's going so fast. Suddenly, I'm old. Suddenly, it's really just not too long until I'm going to die. It seems like I'm going to be a worker bee all my life. I was waiting for the good part all along, and the good part was passing me by. Is that a song?
The Osbournes Christmas show was so staged that I didn't enjoy it. Cursing is only cool when it just comes out naturally.