night
2:50 a.m. - 2003-10-25
Soooo, I went out with Amarillo guy. As always, I have mixed feelings about my dates with him. He pays for everything, but is not affectionate in the least. We went to Six Flags. All I could think about is my huge belly. That may be the longest I have ever sucked it in. Then I took them bar hopping in Deep Ellum. I actually slipped into the bathroom of a bar and completely changed shirts...discarding my casual one that I had worn to Six Flags. He didn't even notice until I pointed it out much later. He and his friends just stood around at the clubs. I got sick of just standing around and started dancing in my place. I asked him if I was embarrassing him, and he said that he didn't know anyone there anyway. Wrong answer!!! ha! Afterwards, he said he needed to get some sleep. He kissed me good night...a peck. I said, "That is the first time you have ever kissed me." He said, "Bullshit!" or something to that effect. I said, "Okay, that is the second time?" He agreed. He confuses me. I guess because he's not like all the other animals that want to fuck you and dump you! Everytime I go out with him, I think to myself, "He is soo not attracted to me, and he will so not call me again." Yet, he always calls. I wish I had some male readers who could tell me what the deal is. Do I? What's up with a guy who pops in and out over a 4 year period and is a complete gentleman at all times to me? AND NOOOOOO he is not gay. Wait...could this be....a friendship???? I hope so because I have so much fun when I am with him. He frustrates me, though.
I have a workshop at 8 in the morning. I don't know why I'm on here writing to you, diary!!!!