musings
10:45 p.m. - 2003-07-19
So tonight on the phone, my alter-ego mother offered to help pay for a vacation even suggesting that we fly and rent a car. Hello? Who are you, and where is my real mother? Maybe I am like really a love child with my dad and another woman. My "mother" was forced to raise me, and resentment overcomes her at times. Or perhaps since I was an accident later in life, I'm ruining her retirement years...and resentment overcomes her at times. Maybe I am the result of a rape, and merely serve as a painful reminder of her attacker...and resentment overcomes her at times. You can divorce husbands, but you can't divorce mothers. I just tried to get drunk, but I think I'm too fat to get a buzz. And everytime my mom looks at me and shakes her head about my weight, IT MAKES ME WANT EAT MY WAY THROUGH AMERICA.
In other news, I bought a beautiful print for my mantel. I really need to have a party because my apartment is ready for anything.