paper entry
5:16 p.m. - 2003-07-14
Last night, I watched 101 Shocking Moments on E! I didn�t know they were only going to do #101-#81. How long do I have to wait for the rest??
So I�m sitting in a workshop all day and trying to be positive...trying to learn new information. However, sometimes the gods have other ideas. It is difficult (I think?) to come up with fresh ways to inform teachers. Maybe I should cash in on this? It�s something to think about. I brought a jacket because you never know if you�re going to freeze or burn. Today, it�s burn.
I�ve started to feel hot everywhere except in my car and my apartment. I started asking the people at Tom Thumb, �Is it me, or is it always hot in here?� They say it is hot. So, I don�t think I�m having hot flashes yet. Even the movie theaters don�t get chilly anymore.
As tomorrow approaches, I�m hoping that somehow I�ll get out of going with my friend to terminate her pregnancy. I wish her stupid lover would take her. She said that his biggest worry is that if she has the baby, it will be too dark (he is Mexican and her husband is milk toast). I said, �THAT�S his biggest worry??� Is it me? Am I the crazy one? I�m mostly worried because I don�t feel anything but annoyed at the whole thing. Okay, I�m stuck. I text messaged her and said I didn�t want to be involved unless it was absolutely necessary. She wrote back that she has no one else to turn to.
Sometimes I wonder. In my desperate hour of need, whom will I turn to?
Once her husband found a very dark hair (obviously her lover�s). She went through great extremes of pulling hair out of her head to match it, and announcing her Indian heritage. Somehow that proved to him that it was her hair. She also has him convinced that she doesn�t like sex.
After this, I will be ending the friendship. I will feel as thought I have done my good �deed�. This will release me from obligation. After all, she rescued me from Baby�s Daddy once. After tomorrow, I can say we are matched: good for good and evil for evil. She doesn�t know that I know that she bedded my lover a long time ago. She doesn�t know that I bedded her lover for revenge...several times. I even tried to tell her once, but she believed him. She will always believe him. I�m way past all that. I�m not proud, but I have forgiven myself. I disagree with her behavior now more than ever because her lover got married and recently had a child. Now she�s not only jeopardizing her marriage/life, but another marriage and a child�s future. I think I hate her.
Now I�m all sad. I�m wishing for a different world...a more perfect one.
The guy behind me is crunching something...ice? peppermints? How would it sound with your head caved in? Huh??!?! My dad couldn't� stand to be in a movie theater because the sound of someone eating popcorn would drive him up the wall.
There�s a woman in here whose heels are frightening to look at. I�m serious. It hurts me to look at her feet.
I bought the cutest little address book I�ve ever seen. Usually, I would just admire it�s cuteness and never ever use it. I mean, what if I wrote down an address and then that person moves? Then, I would have lines marked out on my pretty address book. But, I have found THE PERFECT SOLUTION!!! I�m writing all my addresses in pencil. Thank you! I know that I am clever, but your approval means so much to me. This is really very exciting for me. If you know me, you know that I really mean that.
He�s just rolling it around in his mouth so loudly.
With my luck, I�ll leave this notepad here, and someone will see how crazy I am. SO, I�ll just place a tiny self-destruct contraption on it. I�m on my 4th page of legal paper. I wonder how long this entry will be.
Even though my layout is beautiful and so me, I�m getting tired of it.
It's ice. He has an entire cooler full of ice. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. I�m going to stop writing now because all I can hear is that God damned ice.
p.s. I thought my car was broken this morning, so I immediately called service guy, and he told me to bring it in as soon as I could. I had to call back in shame and tell him I was only driving in the wrong gear. *sigh*