grocery store and country talk
8:01 p.m. - 2003-05-21
Well, I hit some kind of milestone today. I believe what happened is a combination of two things. The first thing is that I may exude confidence. The second thing is that I look old. I was in the produce section of Tom Thumb. I noticed another woman circling me. She had a little girl with her also. She made a phone call on her cell phone and drew nearer. She ended her call and said, "Excuse me, ma'm." She was talking to me. I was the ma'm. She said to me, and I swear this really happened, she said, "What kind of cheese melts best on broccoli?" Without a pause, without a moment passing, I instantly replied. I must add that my retort was in a very heavy Southern drawl. The answered rolled out of my mouth so expertly, that there was no questioning the absolute rightness of it. "Velveeta," I said. "Velveeta?" she repeated, and then, "Thank you." After that, I walked around the store saying, "Velveeta" out loud. I like the way Velveeta rolls out of my mouth. It's almost the way Velveeta pours when it is melted. Velveeta. Then I thought, "I should name my next daughter Velveeta because I say it so well." Why did I look so approachable about broccoli and cheese? It made me feel all Martha Stewarty inside.
I don't know what is up lately with my Southern drawl. Today my students were asking me to say their name in "Country Talk" while I passed out their tests. I did so. Then they asked me what my name was in country. I told them. My name is (what), my name is (what) Laurie Lynn. You have to say Lynn really long, as if it had two syllables.