Knock-knock...who's there?
8:28 p.m. - 2003-04-25
When I got home today, there were flowers and a ballon on my doorstep. Hmmm who could they be from? Maybe they are from Nikea, my neighbor who took the grill I was throwing away. After all, I have given her a toddler bed, bedding and lots of gifts I get from students that I don't want. About 7:30, there was a knock on my door. It was this old man that stays here with his daughter around this time every year. He asks if he can come in. I say okay, and let him in. He asks if he can sit down, so I get him a chair. He tells me not to be afraid around here. He said that he feels we stay inside and hide. I think he mostly meant me because Alyssa really does go out a lot. Anyway, I told him that my daughter has been sick and we are staying inside. The conversation cotinues. He kept asking me if I was uncomfortable until I was, in fact, uncomfortable. I think he just didn't want me to be nervous. Anyway, he finally tells me that the flowers and ballon are from him. He said he wanted to do something nice for me because we gave him the Easter egg with candy, and we always speak to him. I reminded him that we used to talk to him before, but we just lived in another apartment. He vaguely remembered us. Anyway, we talked more. Blah, blah, blah. Then he said that his wife didn't know about the flowers and the balloon. He said she will not know about them, and to please keep it a secret. Then he hacked us into a thousand pieces. Okay, the last sentence isn't true; but he really kept creeping me out with his occasional, "Do you feel uncomfortable?" He finally left, and that's the end of that. It was kinda strange. People don't come a visitin' in an apartment as a general rule. I think he's just lonely. He said he's always wanted to come talk to us, but couldn't get up the stomach. I think, like all old men, he was worried about us a bit. You never know who's watching you, I guess.
The whole thing makes me think about this article I was reading in the waiting room of my dermatologist's office. It was about being a shy parent. I wish I could find it again. It was so true about me. I am a shy parent. I avoid birthday parties and public things because I'm shy. My daughter isn't shy, but I am. I didn't know there were other people like me. It's cool to know that I'm not the only one who feels so self-conscious.