Unfaithful
10:05 p.m. - 2003-02-07
I just watched Unfaithful, and all I can say is, "OHHHHH my God!" and "Fuuuuuuuuckkkk!!!" I would so have fucked that French man too. I have decided that I must have this said to me by someone with an accent before I die: "You have beautiful eyes, you know. You should never shut them...not even at night. You should learn to sleep with your eyes open." My other favorite quote from the movie is, "Did I just fuck you across the street?" My plan was to put together my new bookcase while I watched this movie. Two things stopped me. First, I watched the entire movie with my jaw hanging open...literally...I even got cotton mouth. Second, this mother fucking bookcase is too hard for me to put together. Just like the stickers all over the box that say "Two Man Lift", this is a "Two Man Put Together". Whaddya gonna do? Anyway, back to the movie. You know how she's remembering on the train? She's remembering making love to him for the first time...Academy Award, please. Seriously, I so felt that. I also almost felt her when she was orgasming before he even took her clothes off!!!!! Yeah. So, I think I need to sleep with someone French. Once, I was sleeping with my next door neighbor, and he was half French and half black; but I don't think he knew any French. He knew HOW to French, though. Bah! Europeans smell cheesy anyway. Well, that's what I remember about them. I lived there when I was very young. My brother smelled cheesy too. What's up, cheesy European boys? Anyway, a better ending to the movie would have been if the husband demanded a threesome, or demanded to watch them make love. Why ya gotta kill somebody in the movies everytime? Make love, not war. Shagadelic, baby.