I got all my sistas and me
9:54 p.m. - 2003-05-22
Tonight was our pre-family reunion family reunion where people on their way to the family reunion stopped in town to visit. It was nice. When my mom started ordering me around and being mean to me (are you ready for this because you're not going to believe it), my brother and nephew got up and helped me. I know. Isn't that wild? And like, my sister-in-law wasn't even there. So, it's not like someone had to point out to them that the right thing to do is help me. They helped me put ice in the cups and slice the watermelon. It was a moment. First insult of the night went like this: Aunt from California to me, "Your daughter looks exactly like you." My mom, "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing." She thinks she is so clever...so quick and clever. I just want to throw my head back and laugh, "Ha ha ha. Mother, you are quite the card. Quite. The. Card."
My uncle who is crazy as all get out. I mean, he is insane. He has just gotten back in the family fold after years of being ostracized. He is not blood, so we can do that to him. Anyway, he is just now welcome back in my mother's home. So, he is asked to say the prayer. It was a good 10 minute prayer. Basically, he asked God to help all of us who do not have Jesus Christ in our heart to be saved. Blah. Blah. Blah. The food was getting cold. He asked Our Heavenly Father to save us sinners. I wanted to throw up. He is like the meanest man I have ever met, but he wants to save all of our souls. When I was a little girl, he told me my daddy was going to hell and there was absolutely nothing, nothing, nothing that would change that. If you've never known anyone like this, consider yourself very lucky. He is a complete control freak. I am driving his car to Arkansas (he's not coming). So tonight, he showed me every button on the car. He showed me EVERY BUTTON ON THE CAR. Not just, "These are the window buttons." It was, "This button opens this window. This button opens this window back here. This button opens the passenger side window, and this button opens that window over there." Then he instructed me on the two different ways you could place your gas cap while pumping gas. It did not stop there, but I will. I will just let you know that I am civil to this man, but I get kind of close to wanting to bash his face in. Can't. Stand. Hate. He cannot go on the trip because my mother will not ride in a car with him. Apparently, he argued with her for 6 hours on the trip to Arkansas. Which probably means they argued the 6 hours back. Now, I know my mom. She won't give up an argument. So, I know this probably got ugly. When my uncle is losing an argument, he pulls out the old, "Do you know where you're going when Your Savior calls?" crap. I swear to you that this is really true. He tells my aunt, a grown woman, when to brush her teeth and go to bed. My mom's sister has put up with this man for years and years. So as far as I'm concerned, she's as batty as he is. The good ending to this is that it doesn't affect me like it used to. He's crazy and I'm not. So, I listen to him. Then, I avoid him. Avoid seems to be a key factor in this family. A V O I D. a void. A VOID. There's definitely a void in this family. Yeah. I will write the story this weekend about my incestous grandpa who went to prison for murder. a void/avoid