Looters and crack whores
9:07 a.m. - 2002-11-16
I'm starting my regular ramblings early because I'm out of poetry. Okay so here's my entry with song lyrics in parentheses (because I don't know how to do italics yet!):
(Oh shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to belong...just like everyone else does.)
Last night I had to stop at the Walgreen�s to buy pads (yay! This is a good thing if you have been reading my diary). So, I�m standing in line to pay and the woman in front of me walks out with all of her items in her arms� without paying! And you know what the kicker is? She got away with it. I�m in line to pay thinking, �Damn�why I gotta pay? This shit ain't fair.� (I was in south Dallas, so that is why I was talking like that to myself.) And my typical white self starts looking around to tell the manager or someone, but there is no one. Then another guy walks out and the alarm even goes off, but no one is there to stop him. It�s like a damn free for all. And there were these distracting men in front of the store collecting money for God knows what, so I give them my change on the way out. I was thinking, �I bet that girl who stole didn�t give them money.� Only stupid white people pay for their stuff and give to charities.
Whole family went to my brother�s house for dinner last night. Their house could be on Cribs. It�s that seriously nice, and I am so seriously jealous. You walk in and the first room is a game room�a fancy schmancy game room with a foozball table and small bar table with chairs and a t.v. with a game system. That�s just one room. Everything is all completely new and expensive looking in every part of the house. It looks like it could be a full spread layout in a House Beautiful magazine�every room could be featured. At one point, I shouted out, �Looks like my kinfolks won the lottery!� My sister-in-law says, �No, we just took our kids out of private school and put them in public school.� The response in my head was, �My mom was paying for that anyway, so how the fuck does your house look like Anna Nicole Smith�s?�
Did I ever mention that my niece and nephew have trust funds set up by my mom and that my daughter doesn�t? ya�umm hmmm. My mom has bailed them out of credit card debt at least twice that I know of�and I foresee in my crystal ball many more handouts for them. All I can do is cry or go insane.
Well, even though shopping and buying does give me a rush. Hell, anything would give me a rush. I�m sure if I ever tried cocaine, I�d turn into a crack whore on the street. Anyway, even though shopping is cool�I�ll be alright with what I have for now. I�ll have a house someday too�maybe.
Last night, I enjoyed talking to my 60 year old uncle who is screwing a 21 year old girl. She�s younger than all of his daughters, and she is hot (I saw her at his grandson's wedding). He�s happier than a rooster in a hen house. He can�t help but brag. Yeah, so he�s funny to talk to. The whole family thinks he�s lost his mind�literally. He and I have a common bond�black sheeps.
(Not a night goes by I don�t dream of wandering through the home that might have been.)